Sunday, June 12, 2016

Swimming Back to Myself

Photo © Pixabay
Sometimes, you start writing one thing and it turns into another. I was trying to write a lighthearted blog about motherhood, but then postpartum depression overtook me last month.

Along the way to trying to be the best mother I could be, I lost sight of myself. The ironic part is I've always wanted to be a mother. I yearned for a child while I was in my 30s and single.

When I got married and had a baby at age 38, I felt it literally was a miracle. But somewhere along the way with two children, it became less miraculous and more mundane. Less exhilarating -- and more exhausting.

Last week, I started antidepressants and started swimming again. Swimming by myself for 30 minutes without the kids. Swimming in a basic public pool, a rectangle of blue water surrounded by patchy grass.

What I like about swimming outside is that you can't think about anything else except the sky overhead. For that 30 minutes, I felt strong and capable. I just need to remember that feeling the next time I'm overwhelmed by the constant demands of motherhood.

Nina Snyder is the author of "ABCs of Balls," a children's picture book that makes learning the alphabet fun for toddlers. Follow her on Twitter @nsnyder_writer.